Pairings Not Fit for Human Consumption – Input Welcome!

There are certain food pairings, that in my humble opinion, are not designed for human consumption.  It may very well be debatable if these very concoctions would be suitable for canine consumption.  Whether you agree or disagree, I love friendly banter and welcome all comments.

1.  Apple Pie … and Raisins – Why was this ungodly pairing ever invented?  Do I like apples?  Affirmative.  Do I like raisins?  Also affirmative.  Do I like warm raisins in my apple pie?  No thank you.  While I’ve only had this putrid pairing twice, it was two times too many.  I attempted to be open-minded, but I firmly believe there are some tastes and textures that should be avoided.  This is one of them.

2.  Mincemeat Pie with Venison and Mint Jelly – I could understand this being a main pot pie dish (sans mint jelly) but my German grandmother used to make this putrid version with canned venison and green mint jelly for dessert.  Not only did it smell terrible, it tasted terrible.  There wasn’t even anything I could pick through to pretend to eat, not one morsel of goodness.  I usually ended up smearing everything around on my plate, my theory being that if I spread it out in a thin layer it would look like I tried to digest at least a small portion of it.  I still recall that taste and shudder.

3.  Bologna with French’s Mustard on Wonderbread – Mom, I know this is your childhood favorite, but I’m sorry to say, it’s not mine.  I find bologna to have a putrid, distinct smell.  My understanding from several people who used to work in rendering plants is that the old, nearly expired meat becomes a gelatinous mold of bologna.  Pair that with the distinct taste of neon yellow mustard and you have a science experiment gone terribly awry.

And here is where writer’s block has flexed a strong hold.  Either that or perhaps I enjoy food so much that I have blocked out the remaining few food pairings I don’t particularly find appetizing.  So I invite you, the readers to contribute.  What do you think should take the fourth and fifth places on this unappetizing list?  


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